


Your Voice Calls to Me Like a Wake Up Call

by Kuchikicool (GalracatKeith)



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Depression, M/M, aomine dealing with depression, being an angsty baby
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-03
Updated: 2015-12-03
Packaged: 2018-05-04 16:17:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 887
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5340458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GalracatKeith/pseuds/Kuchikicool
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Short drabble with Aomine dealing with the loss of his friends and his love for basketball fading. Placed before he meets Kagami.<br/>What I imagined what he possibly could've gone trough before meeting someone on his own level.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Your Voice Calls to Me Like a Wake Up Call

**Author's Note:**

> Some of this is inspired from my own experience with depression, and if it might make someone feel uncomfortable, i suggest not reading further.

It was dark, so dark, and lately it always seemed to be that way.  
Aomine would wake up in the middle of the night, drenched in sweat from the nightmares that kept repeating over and over in his mind.  
Some days, he couldn't even bring himself to leave his bed as the weight on his shoulders chained him in place. He knew he needed to be places, to actually do something...to care.  
But now, he couldn't bring himself to care anymore.   
His phone would buzz for minutes on his nightstand, ignoring it every time as he knew Satsuki was trying to get him out in the world again. How she hadn’t understood by now that he wasn’t interested, annoyed him more and more for every time his phone would light up in the dark room.

Sometimes Aomine would finally manage to leave his room, attempting to stay at school for a whole day just to please his ever so annoying childhood friend. Most of the time, his half hearted attempt would end up in him hiding on the roof of the school, away from everyone.  
He wasn’t entirely sure when things had taken a turn for the worse, but he knew by the constricting feeling in his chest that it had started back in middle school. It was then he had given up, all of what he had loved, had slipped away from him, leaving him feeling numb most of the time.   
Kuroko had promised him, promised that the feeling would pass, and that he would feel the joy of basketball again.  
Sometimes he resented him for it, for giving him the false hope of that he would eventually meet someone who would help him escape this hollow void.  
His shadow had been so wrong, and he had told him that day in the rain, told him that he didn’t need anyone anymore, that the only one who deserved his presence was himself.

From that point it had only gotten worse. For every night he woke up in sweat, for every cold morning that descended on him, he was drowning.   
He was so deep underwater, his lungs burning for air as he desperately tried to reach the surface, but every time he reached out, the pressure would suffocate him to the point where he was ready for death to claim him.

Of course, he never spoke of any of this. Who would he tell anyway? His dad was never home, and his mother was always too busy with either work or housework. Satsuki wasn’t even an option as he knew she wouldn’t shut up once she opened her mouth. Though he wasn’t blind, he knew that she had noticed something was very wrong, but she knew him too well to confront him directly. No matter how much she would ask and whine, there was just no way he could confess to how pathetic he really was.  
He couldn’t even leave his bed without the feeling of shame and guilt weighing him down, and at some point he simply stopped fighting back. Aomine would use the welcoming warmth of his covers to shut the world out, to pretend his pain was gone and not corrupting every fiber of his body.

He never cried.   
When he would wrap a blanket around himself in desperation, his eyes shut to block out the pain, he never cried. Not since he had lost his friends, his passion, and his will to live had he cried. And he promised himself he never would again.  
He didn’t cry when he heard his parents fight, he didn’t cry when his father left for good.  
He didn’t cry, he didn’t know how anymore.

Before everything had changed, his dreams had been big. There was so many things he had wanted to achieve, to share with his closest friends.  
None of those things existed in his mind anymore, the one thing he had loved more than anything had left him, betrayed by his own strength.  
His abilities weren't a gift, it was a curse, and sometimes...he wished he never had them.  
What was his life worth if basketball could no longer save him, when his worth was nothing more than how well he played, and how he could crush his enemies without a blink of an eye.  
Nothing was fun any longer, now he could barely remember a time when he laughed, when his eyes would twinkle with excitement.   
Now everything was just a haze, like walking through thick fog without knowing your way home.

The one who had all done this was himself, he had no one else to blame for the situation he had ended up in. He didn’t deserve redemption, the amount of hate he had for himself would never make room for such a thing.

All he wanted was someone to help him escape this darkness, someone who would look at him with fire in their eyes, someone to teach him to leave this pain behind.  
Silently he kept calling for someone to find him, reaching out in the dark towards someone,his heart screaming out to keep him from falling even further into the abyss.

To find a person who would think it was worth saving him.  
Someone with fire in his soul and the recklessness of a wild tiger.


End file.
